The Awful, The Hideous, The Downright Criminal. . . & The Hilariously Awesome

it escalated. After taking into consideration approximately 40 minutes
into the game between the Yanks and Rays tonight the fact that I
probably should of saved yesterday’s headline to describe this
miserable one at the Trop instead of yesterday’s at Kauffman [which now
seems like skittles and rainbows in comparison], I’ve settled for
pushing myself to express how painfully dredful this game was in the
worse possible way I can [partially because it’d make me feel better and mainly because I can].

The Awful:

The man still claiming to be Chein-Ming Wang:

wang disaster.jpg

… and actually, awful doesn’t even begin to cover it.

The Hideous:

CMW’s “relief”:


Thanks Albalade-no-way-anybody-is-catching-that.

The Downright Criminal:

Take your pick. We have:

– The siiiiick Willie Mays type play that robbed Nady in the second.

– The play by Crawford to rob Swish of a double bagger, which clearly established the game as utterly unfair in the 6th.

– The multiple defiant pop ups from hell that just would not give the Yanks a break.

– Cody Ransom’s presence.

– Carlos Friggin Peña.

The Hilariously Awesome:

the mere use of the word awesome, you should already know who I’m
talking about: Nick Swisher. Because 1). Wang was so splendid 2.) the
Yanks brilliantly don’t have a long man and 3.) the pen was luckily
already running low on ammo, the mastermind was forced to bring out his not so secret weapon: DJ Swish a.k.a.
Stun Gun [that will be his new nickname] to pitch the 8th:

swish pitching 1.jpg

The moment I saw him on the mound was the moment I finally appreciated my curse
blessing of being uncontrollably compelled to watch all 9 innings of every game I sit
down for, no matter how disastrous. I swear, that was the single most
hilarious thing I’ve ever seen in baseball. Not only did he do his job tonight [knocking one over the fences], he did the pen’s too… Nick Swisher was the man.. now, he may very well be Jesus.

Side Notes:

hilarious as it was, how sad is it that Swish was the only guy who did not allow a run tonight and actually notched a K off Kapler, all while topping out at the high 70’s, while the fellas who get paid to pitch allowed 15 runs?

Comparison of the ERA’s Tonight: 

Wang: 28.93

Albaladejo: 4.26

Coke: 9.82

Swisher: 0.00

One more aspect of Nick Swisher’s awesomeness: the fact that he took
the time to tip his cap to Carl Crawford following that play listed
under The Downright Criminal that robbed him in the 6th. Great guy.

– A-Rod was at the game today and apparently he’s losing his precious hair and thought our slaughter was amusing.

I swear, I’ll never get used to the Rays as contenders. From last place
to  American League champs in a the span of a year and
suddenly Rays fans fill their ballpark and dare to chant  [rather loudly]
“Yankees Suck”… You know baseball ain’t what it used to be when those [formerly] bullied start to punch back.

– As per Pete Abraham – Swisher’s post game interview:

To also add to The Awful list: the deaths of both Harry Kalas &
Mark Fidrych.. I don’t know what is with tragedy’s stranglehold on
baseball so far this season, but I hope this the last of it.. Rest in
peace to both men.

On Deck: Payback.

P.S. Just watched the 8th over again on the encore on YES [because I have no life] and three more hilarious things I noticed: First) Swish was actually hitting the edge of the strike zone a few times.. could really teach Veras a thing or two.. Second) [Something Abraham also mentioned] Swish was shaking off Molina, despite Molina not holding up any signs.. and Third) Tony Peña was trying so hard not to cry from laughing, lol..



  1. mikeeff

    PS i didn’t delete your comments but i added the old bugs bunny cartoon to my page so it wiped both our remarks away…

  2. Erin Kathleen

    At least the Yankees got thumped by the AL Pennant-winning Rays, and not the freakin’ fourth-place Blue Jays last night. btw, If you guys are in search of long relief, I have a feeling that Luis Ayala will be made available really soon. We’ll even throw in Philip Humber for free, as our gift to you :)-Erin

  3. redstatebluestate

    Yeah, Swish was clockin’ ’em at 79 mph!!! Wow! A strikeout and two pop-ups?! Nice. He must’ve been drunk to perform so well. I remember when Aaron Miles pitched last year for the Cards and got three up three down. I remember when Jose Oquendo did it back in the day too… in fact, he played every position during his career. Not everyone can do that. Kudos to Swish, and kudos to the Rays for whoopin’ on the Yanks. (Sorry, had to say it, V)

  4. flairforthedramatic

    Mike – It was a tad much.. but I just can’t help it.. it’s like some disorder I have.. or like witnessing the aftermath of a crash on the highway that you just can’t turn your head away from.. I’m glad I kept the game on.. That appearance by Swish on the mound made my day, lol..
    Julia – Lol.. well hopefully it’s the Yanks that’ll be the one doing the winning 😉 Good thing about baseball.. the season is so long that the teams that should be on the bottom will eventually make their way there and the teams that should be on top will be there when all is said and done, so this won’t last for long.
    Erin – Well the Jays are technically 1st place right now, lol.. but yes.. You can keep them, I think we’ll settle for Swish as our long relief man.. He has the best ERA in the bigs, don’t ya know..
    Jeff – I give them kudos too, only because w/o the massacre, we wouldn’t have got to witness Swish’s skills from the hill, which were the highlight of my day, lol..
    Jane – Bizarre yes.. but I’ll take it. It was the best of both worlds.. There is always going to be a couple games a year that the Yanks get their a**’s handed to them and I’m usually pissed or indifferent after them, so I’m glad Swish shook things up and lightened my mood [and everyone else’s minus Posada] hehe..
    – V

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