Tagged: Farnsworth

Disaster With A Side Order Of Delusion

Nuke LaFarnworth has just about been replaced by Nuke LaChamberlain.

joba kendry.jpg

Nuke: “I held it like an egg.”
Crash: “Yeah, and he scrambled that son of a b****.”

Side Notes:

– Still can’t fathom how a game that looked as good as it did at the start could become such a nightmare by the end.

Digesting The Disaster That Is Joba Chamberlain:

In 17 games this season, he’s lasted more than 6 innings just twice.
9 hits in each of his last 3 outings.. [in just 5.1, 3.2, and 4.1 innings..]
Managed to accomplish a 9 pitch 1st in this one, only to follow it with a 29 pitch 2nd.
Bats jumped on Saunders early.. and he lasted longer than Chamberlain.
Is king of the no-decision.. which may actually be benefiting him.

And he’s beyond delusional.

Joba’s Latest Various Statement’s of Denial:

“I think things are going well.”
“I made great pitches throughout.”
“You can’t change the past.”
“The last two starts is the best my stuff’s been all year.”
[Last two starts: 3.2 innings, 8 runs & 4.1 innings, 5 runs..]
“The sun is going to come up tomorrow.”

I sh*t you not on all of the above.

Jeet with a four hit night.. and a Castillo-esque dropped pop-up. Not kidding. Ball must’ve had a mind of it’s own.. never seen
that happen to the Capt’n.

Another game, another bomb. A-Rod now one behind Palmeiro on the
seemingly pointless all-time HR list now. With or without the ‘roids
though, Alex is a beast.

Posada bare handed play = sick. Facial expression he gave after it =
siiiiick. I’ve realized the reason he and Burnett have the ultimate
chemistry.. badazz’s think alike. Gave Figgins a good stare down.

– Despite the bashing that could [and has been] rained upon Brian Bruney tonight and of late, hey, the guy got it right in the 8th.

– *Virtual bowdown* to Jonathan Sanchez on the would-be perfecto. Uribe must love himself.

Leader Of The Crapfest:

crapfest 6:10.jpg

Fact Of Baseball:
Offense gives you five runs, bright idea wouldn’t be to give them back.

Start breathing through your eyelids.

On Deck: Interesting pitching matchup.. Pettitte taking on Jered Weaver. Redemption after that last start by Andy would be much appreciated.


Off Day Boredom Relief

Recent Hilarious Happenings:

-The latest 6 year old temper tantrum in baseball thanks to Carlos Zambrano:

zambrano tantrum.jpg

When will they ever listen to Jimmy Dugan?

P.S. Despite the modern twist, with a beverage machine instead of water cooler, Paul O’Neill still takes the cake when it comes to smashing.

– My realization of why Warner Madrigal makes me giggle inside:

madrigal fozzie.jpg

Tell me you see the resemblance.

The return of Toronto’s incompetence. The Blue Jay team has finally
dropped out of first and have begun their decline, which was clearly
highlighted by a stellar effort yesterday. Halladay going 7, leaving with a 5 run lead and still a loss? That is more like it.

– Cash’s trip to the mound last
night that lasted all of two seconds, in which no words were exchanged.
Picking up the rosin bag, dropping it and jogging back? Classiiic. The look on A.J.’s face? Priceless.

Sweet Shizz:

– The new bleacher tee graphic by Bald Vinny made because “”Teix Message” is F’n Stupid”:

the teixecutioner 1.jpg

.. which no doubt would’ve gone well with this screencap of “The Teixecutioner” at work:

teix monster.jpg

For anyone wondering.. ^that^ is the first step to crushing a baseball.

– CC, Swish and some of the other guys heading to the NBA playoff game in Cleveland tonight, according to Bryan Hoch. Cavs must win with the boys in the building.

Side Notes:

Seriously.. what would it take for Veras to disappear? With the way the
Yanks work, the only answer I can muster is.. improvement. Veras
apparently learned a valuable lesson from Nuke LaFarnsworth.. continue
to be an epic failure and you’ll keep getting the ball. Start getting
guys out and they’ll up and ship you to Detroit.

Unfortunate to see Melk out of the lineup for at least the next few
days, but Brett The Jet never ceases to amaze. The legs on Speedy
Gardzalez makes baserunning seem like a sport all its own.

Saltalamacchia’s rainbow-esque display of his name on his back is
chuckle-worthy enough.. but Flash’s struggle with pronouncing it gave
me another good laugh.

– According to Pete Abe, Posada will be activated tomorrow..

– An update: Tex = beast.

Yanks were tied for first before the Sox unfortunately won their game
today.. but I’m thinking Yanks claim sole possession real soon.

On Deck:
Pettitte facing Cliff Lee tomorrow in a game I won’t see because it’s
Prom night, so I hope Andy will mow ’em down while I’m watching people do idiotic things.

In The Hole: I’m hoping continued dominance from double half a squiggly.

Off The Bench: Hughes taking on he who must not be named.. Would love to see some retribution this time.. but more importantly.. Must see him stub his toe or someone drive a ball at him..  No way Cleveland gets to have him for a full season either..

P.S. I was randomly watching women’s college softball on ESPN today [no idea why] but upon stating that one of the female players was a “loyal Seattle Mariners fan”, one of the analysts actually said “you’d kind of have to be loyal to be a fan of Seattle”.. burrrnnnn.

Blast From The Past Gets Kick In The. . .

Note: I was two seconds from testing the censorship with the headline, but I figured you’d get my point.

This one may have not been a Beckham kick, but any win against a former
Yankee pitcher is one that should be exaggerated [for no other reason
than because it’s funny].. and despite the offense putting up 4 runs
on the board with 7 hits, the said “kick” in the game came from the
pitcher that went 7 innings, holding down the 1st place Royals [mind
blowing, yes] to 1 run and 3 measly hits: Andy Pettitte a.k.a.
Old Reliable a.k.a. the man you should give a contract with plenty of
zeros to without him even asking for one. I don’t care if he isn’t a
young stud anymore. The guy still looks good:

pettitte 410.jpg

… [and gives you solid outings to boot.]

Follow the formula that’s sure to bring approximately 158 more W’s with Bruney & Mo afterward and you get this:

yankee win.jpg

A hell of a let down for Royals’ fans [yeah, they have some]..

Ruining opposing team home openers–> love it.

Side Notes:

The other blast from the past, Nuke LaFarnsworth, opted to swallow
the tears this time and settle for payback by easily sitting down 3
Yankee hitters in order, all via the strikeout. We appreciate the love.

– Cano with 2 more hits today.. Did someone give this guy lighter fluid again?

DJ Swish drove in another one today. Though it may not make Nady/Matsui
happy, I say keep the guy with the hot bat in the lineup and screw the
original plans.

– Alex is apparently ahead of schedule with his rehab and is looking to come back possibly at the end of April [or at least before the original May 15th target date].. Though I’m looking forward to seeing his name in the lineup again [and not Ransom’s.. no offense..] his miraculous fast recovery just seems like it would be a definite backfire.. Reasons why I say this: 1.) It’s Alex Rodriguez. 2.) It’s Alex Rodriguez.

On Deck:
CC’s second shot at his first win in pinstripes against Horacio Ramirez
at 7:10 tomorrow night. Are these afternoon week games and
night games throwing anybody else off?

Seriously? . . .

now that both CC and A.J.  have been checked off the growing list of
things Hank wants for Christmas, attention is slowly being turned back
to that rumored deal for Mike Cameron in exchange for Melky Cabrera…
but, as it goes, apparently the Brewers don’t just want Leche.

They also want this guy:


Remember him?… Yeah, me neither.. but I’m pretty sure he suckked.

to the Post, the Brewers think that baseball and Vegas are the same
thing, deciding to take a gamble on a guy that I thought drowned a
while ago.. but since he’s still alive and the Yanks obviously don’t
mind shipping Melk off, I say: sweeeet. The Brewers can have Kei for free
if they want. I’m not too excited about seeing The Melk Man leave
though, if this deal does indeed go through. He’s a cool dude. Putting
the sunflower seeds box on his head was just.. classic.

Side Notes:

I forget which movie I’ve heard this in but I’ll say it: “Heyyyy Kansas City.” Nuke
LaFarnsworth is now a Royal.. I kid you not. I’ve grown fond of Farnsy,
but if that isn’t something to laugh at, I don’t know what is.

– Supposedly the Yanks are going after Teixeira, and although I highly doubt that’ll happen, I’ve got one thing to say: We’re in an economic crisis guys. At least act like you don’t have all the money in the world.

Nice Try, But That’s All She Wrote

I’m not usually the one to wave the white flag when comes to the Yanks but lately I’m finding it easier and easier to say this:
thatsall-1.jpgThe Yanks are now 6.5 behind in the AL East and 3.5 in the Wild Card. Though 3.5 is not insurmountable, there are 3 other teams all vying for that spot. It’d be a different story if the Yanks were actually putting up a fight, but aside from that 8 game winning streak following the All-Star break, the Yanks have not proven themselves at all this season.
If there is some sign that the Yanks will make the postseason this year let me know, because all I see is this:
1) The Yanks do not have a competent 5th starter [or 4th for that matter]
2) We have no knowledge of the severity of Joba’s injury
3) The Stopper, Perfect Pettitte, can’t seem to do his job lately
4) The Bullpen has been eehk since Farns was booted and Bruney made his return
and 5) Pav-ow-no is becoming a starter option… yikes
I repeat: If there is any sign or reason why this team will or should make the playoffs let me know.

Side Notes:
– Nice grand slam retaliation tonight by Sexson… too bad it came after someone gave up a 3 run scoring double to my boy Crush Davis. Hmm… how could that have been prevented?
– As much as it pains me to imagine Betemit at shortstop or just in the game for even one inning, Jeet seriously needs to sit a night. The guy has been as cold as dry ice… no wait, what’s colder than dry ice? I’ll tell you what is… Jeter. [Line from Blades of Glory if you didn’t know… uber funny movie.]
– I don’t know what the stats are because I don’t care, but I’m sure if you look it up you’ll find out that the number of runs the bullpen has given up has spiked since the trade of Farnsworth. I know everyone was happy Pudge would be coming to New York and thought that the bullpen would survive without him but this odd phrase has been ringing in my ear and it might be relevant: “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”
– Someone just psychoanalyzed me and guess what: I’m a sore loser… the fits of rage, the repeated punching of pillows and the tossing of random things at the tv that’s been through hell… it’s all making sense now.

X-Man Powers Yankee Comeback To Seal The Split

x-man-1.jpg          X marks the spot… and that spot happened to be in deep left field today, where X-Man’s blast in the 7th inning landed to give the Yanks a three run lead, beginning the see-saw battle that winded up playing out in the final game in this series versus the Angels of… [where are they from now?]… in the Bronx. I only saw bits and pieces of the game today, but I did happen to catch the bomb by X that lifted the crowd off their seats. X winded up with 4 hits and 6 RBIs for the game. One of the other trade acquisitions, Ivan Rodriguez, actually got the party started with a home run in the 5th that put the Yanks on the board. The Wise One, also known as Cashman, was probably feeling like he should’ve been bowed down to today.

          Today’s win was huge, not just to salvage some pride, but surely to pump up this offense before they head into the hazardous heat of Texas for a four game set against the Rangers. Joba Chamberlain will face Vincent Padilla tomorrow night to start off the series. I will probably do an in-gamer for at least one of the games against the Rangers because the Yanks are facing my second fav team 🙂 Maybe tomorrow. Let me know what day is best for you guys.

Other Notes:
– Abreu really saved himself with the bat today. I saw his blunder on the bases and… jeez. That’s one of those plays that you scratch you head and furiously scream “What were you thinking?” Did I or did I not say that the Yanks manage to embarrass themselves at least once every time they face this friggin team?
– I heard Christian was tearing it up on the bases. Speed is a murder weapon.
– Turns out Edwar is not so unhittable versus the Angels.
– Farns ain’t with the Yanks anymore but still found a way to get them back for the trade that sent him back to Detroit, surrendering the lead for his new team while facing the Rays. The Yanks will have to try to gain ground again tomorrow.
– I wasn’t able to stick around, but shout out to EJ for running a great in-gamer today.

All Hail Bobby Abreu – Subscript Headline: Farnsworth Gets Sent Packing

abreu4-3.jpg          2 home runs by Bobby. 2 doubles by X-Man filling for him at right. Can we see Abreu at DH just a little more often? Thank you. I don’t know what A+ Abreu likes about those half a days, but he was making some noise in the Bronx today. The guy went 3-4, with 3 RBI’s, 2 homers and 4 runs scored. Not bad. The guy right behind him pitched in some too. A-Rod picked himself up 2 hits [one of the home run variety] and 2 RBI’s. Great day for the offense, which needed to be jump started after the last 3 disappointing losses and LA coming into town tomorrow night. The Yanks also got help on the bases from the O’s though. I mean, their first 5 runs were scored on two hits, but whatever, I’ll take it.
          The pitching was solid today as well. Joba made a quality start, going 6 innings, allowing 2 runs on 5 hits, while striking out 6. Though 6 innings does the job, I would love to see him start going a little deeper. Speaking of doing the job, the pen did it again. Edwar relieved Joba and, again, did not allow a hit. Want to know why? Because he only threw one pitch. The pitch sailed over Millar’s head and Ramirez was tossed immediately. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t intentional [though you never know]… but ump, are you serious? The pitch didn’t hit him, no warnings, it was his first pitch and do you think the Yanks would send Edwar, of all people, for retaliation? C’mon. It’s not like the Yanks hate the O’s. They’re nobody… but, all is done. Yanks win anyway.
          Andy Pettitte will be on the mound for the Yanks against LA tomorrow night at the stadium. LA will bring their new acquisition, Mark Texiera, to bat, while the Yanks will bring their new-new acquisition, Ivan Rodriguez. Yes, another trade just happened.

Other Notes:
– Kyle gets traded for Pudge… c’mon… I was JUST starting to like Farns. Seriously, who will be our new retaliation gun? You can’t teach that kind of ability to induce terror. And… now, can we only get rid of Betemit?
– One of the funniest things I’ve ever seen: Bobby scores in the first with a pretty slide, gets called safe… and then turns around to argue. When he realizes that those cheers weren’t for an out, he says “Oh, okay.”
– Just found out that Farns cried when he heard of the move… ouch. Gotta feel bad for the guy. He finally starts pitching, and then gets shipped.