Tagged: Pavano

Walk-Off Win For America

Match-up may have had loss written all over it, but..

halladay fail.jpg

sorry Canucks, not today.

Side Notes:

In all seriousness.. Halladay on the mound, shoulder strain pulls Wang
out in the 5th, and the Yanks still manage to pick up a W.. what are
the odds?

– Abraham’s Wang Update:

is headed for the DL with what is being described as a strain with
bursitis. But everybody seems to think that he will be back within a

I am itching to mention he who must not be named,
but I won’t do it. Who’s glad that Hughes is a reliever now? Phil is
obviously the only competent option to be the replacement, but with the
decreased arm strength stemming from the move to the pen, he likely
won’t be able to give a full start in 5 days. I’m thinking one will be patched together by he and the other relievers on Thursday, though Abraham suggests Sergio Mitre in Scranton could be the choice.

Message to the New York media: Yankee Stadium = launching pad..  we get it. The
restatement of this every time one ends up over the wall in right is unnecessary.

Digesting The Disaster That Is Robinson Cano:

Now 0 for his last 20 with RISP..
Made the last out in 5 of his 6 AB’s today..
Stranded 10 single-handedly..
Batting near, if not below, the Mendoza line with RISP for the season..
Leading the team in double plays.

And he’s number 5 in the lineup..

The icing on this cake? In the only at-bat he didn’t end the inning with, he ever so intelligently chose to bunt [into a force out at third]… with a 3-0
count. Girardi may or may not be a smart guy [latest managerial
decisions have been raising some doubt] but this one seems simple.. Ice
cold bat + sheer idiocy = bench.

Badazz Burnett strikes again, this time with Joba as the
co-conspirator. This date in Yankee history can now add “Posada Pied
to accompany The Birth Of The Boss and Baseball’s Gettysburg Address on
its resume.

Beast(s) Of The Ballgame:

beast 6:4.jpg

asked someone to tell me the worth of Hideki Matsui.. and the guy told
me himself with his second tater and multi-hit game in the last three

beast2 6:4.jpg

A bomb and the game winning hit.. How’s the thumb feeling?

On Deck: Joba on the hill to face Brett Cecil, with a mere 7 Major League appearances under his belt, for Toronto in a battle of the 6’2″ 23 year olds.

P.S. Forgot to mention, if you think you’re losing it, Eric Hinske did indeed arrive from Pittsburgh.. three days ago. He supposedly requested a trade  from the Pirates because of a lack of playing time.. must be glad he got it.


Off Day Boredom Relief

Recent Hilarious Happenings:

-The latest 6 year old temper tantrum in baseball thanks to Carlos Zambrano:

zambrano tantrum.jpg

When will they ever listen to Jimmy Dugan?

P.S. Despite the modern twist, with a beverage machine instead of water cooler, Paul O’Neill still takes the cake when it comes to smashing.

– My realization of why Warner Madrigal makes me giggle inside:

madrigal fozzie.jpg

Tell me you see the resemblance.

The return of Toronto’s incompetence. The Blue Jay team has finally
dropped out of first and have begun their decline, which was clearly
highlighted by a stellar effort yesterday. Halladay going 7, leaving with a 5 run lead and still a loss? That is more like it.

– Cash’s trip to the mound last
night that lasted all of two seconds, in which no words were exchanged.
Picking up the rosin bag, dropping it and jogging back? Classiiic. The look on A.J.’s face? Priceless.

Sweet Shizz:

– The new bleacher tee graphic by Bald Vinny made because “”Teix Message” is F’n Stupid”:

the teixecutioner 1.jpg

.. which no doubt would’ve gone well with this screencap of “The Teixecutioner” at work:

teix monster.jpg

For anyone wondering.. ^that^ is the first step to crushing a baseball.

– CC, Swish and some of the other guys heading to the NBA playoff game in Cleveland tonight, according to Bryan Hoch. Cavs must win with the boys in the building.

Side Notes:

Seriously.. what would it take for Veras to disappear? With the way the
Yanks work, the only answer I can muster is.. improvement. Veras
apparently learned a valuable lesson from Nuke LaFarnsworth.. continue
to be an epic failure and you’ll keep getting the ball. Start getting
guys out and they’ll up and ship you to Detroit.

Unfortunate to see Melk out of the lineup for at least the next few
days, but Brett The Jet never ceases to amaze. The legs on Speedy
Gardzalez makes baserunning seem like a sport all its own.

Saltalamacchia’s rainbow-esque display of his name on his back is
chuckle-worthy enough.. but Flash’s struggle with pronouncing it gave
me another good laugh.

– According to Pete Abe, Posada will be activated tomorrow..

– An update: Tex = beast.

Yanks were tied for first before the Sox unfortunately won their game
today.. but I’m thinking Yanks claim sole possession real soon.

On Deck:
Pettitte facing Cliff Lee tomorrow in a game I won’t see because it’s
Prom night, so I hope Andy will mow ’em down while I’m watching people do idiotic things.

In The Hole: I’m hoping continued dominance from double half a squiggly.

Off The Bench: Hughes taking on he who must not be named.. Would love to see some retribution this time.. but more importantly.. Must see him stub his toe or someone drive a ball at him..  No way Cleveland gets to have him for a full season either..

P.S. I was randomly watching women’s college softball on ESPN today [no idea why] but upon stating that one of the female players was a “loyal Seattle Mariners fan”, one of the analysts actually said “you’d kind of have to be loyal to be a fan of Seattle”.. burrrnnnn.

Blowing Out A Candle Without A Breath?

Yeah, it’s possible.. Have two teams with powerful offenses go head to head and a blowout as a result is not so surprising.. However, one in which the winning team did not smack a single ball over the fence?… Who knew…

Check out the beauty of a box score:

52509 box score.jpg

19 hits spread throughout the lineup [none of which were of the long ball variety], 11 runs [none of which scored via the long ball], and 4 RBI’s by the king of the long ball [none of which were a result of the long ball].. surprising, and yet good stuff.

Side Notes:

– Brun heading back to disabled list after only one appearance. I hate to throw he who must not be named into the air, but I must say.. you’ve just about used up your DL tokens for the year Bruney. Hope you figure out the problem.. and don’t suffer any bruised buttocks in the process.

– You can obviously partly attribute the turnaround by Tex to the return of the guy hitting behind him, but Marky is now getting hits [and homers] off broken bats.. That is all his amazingness [and hopefully not that of banned substances]..

– Didn’t write about the games these last few days, but bringing up Melky’s magic here is necessary. The Walk-Off Wonder Boy has been putting on a show. Someone should really change the scoreboard and make it the 9th for his every at-bat.

– Bowing down to the performance of Hughes right now. Holding the Rangers to 3 hits, allowing merely one walk, over 8 innings? Definitely WWE belt worthy [and apparently Phil wasn’t afraid to flaunt it.. doing post-game interviews with the belt on his shoulder.. haha]..

– I reiterate: A-Rod = beast.

On Deck: Joba on the hill again following the less than an inning outing he made versus Baltimore after being hit with a liner. He faces Kevin Millwood in the second game of this series with my second favorite team [though, sorry, Yanks get 99.99% of my love]..

P.S. I’m all for honoring the soldiers who’ve fallen and America itself.. but caps the color of red? Really? Sure, it goes with white and blue on the flag.. but not with the Yankee uniform.. just sayin’..

When Video Games Become Real

… things like this happen:


and this:

and this:

.. but those last two were besides the point.

That box score is all you get for a game summary.

Side Notes:

– My replacement suggestions for Wang in the rotation: Swish, the bat boy or the stadium squirrel from last year. Can’t go wrong with those options.. or any, for that matter.. is there even a slight possibility that it could get worse than that?

My explanation for the home run fiesta: The Indians have discovered a
new undetectable super steroid, put an invisibility cloak over some
midges they brought to New York and got extra help from the specters
still floating around, who are throwing a fit because the seats that
were named after them in the new ballpark are a joke.

Despite putting up another 0-fer.. Swish still got me laughing with his
presentation of the Yankee lineup before the bottom of the 1st and his
accurate one word prediction of the game’s outcome during BP with a
yell of “Fore!”

The pressure was obviously high for Claggett, having to make his major
league debut in Yankee Stadium in relief of a horrible outing by Wang..
but 8 runs? and a grand slam? in 1.2 innings?… Good luck kid.

– As for the other relievers.. yet another game where not one arm kept a run off the board.. The pen doesn’t need help, it needs complete facial reconstruction.

Probably another way in which the Yanks will promote the new stadium’s
greatness: “Love the long ball? You’ll find it here.” I only wish there
was a stronger word than simply ridiculous to describe the stadium’s secret power.. If, by some miracle, there’s a day that the stadium doesn’t
witness a home run this season, be sure there’s a ventilator on hand..
many will be shocked. I don’t know how a one block move has produced
such a difference, but boy, it’s going to be one hell of a season..

On Deck: A.J. Burnett facing he who shall not be named at 1:05. If anyone is going to be hitting homers tomorrow, it better be the Yankees. A loss versus Pav can not happen.

P.S. Viva la “We Want Swisher” chant.

The Art Of Incentivizing & Stepping Out Of The Cone Of Silence

now, I’m sure all know of the deal that officially put Old Reliable
back on the Yanks for another year two days ago. What many don’t know
is that my heart did a back flip when I heard about it… and then
turned sideways, confused puppy style, when I saw the initial worth of
the deal at $5.5 million. My mind tends to skip through important
details when I read things so I completely thought Andy was insane
until I noticed that the deal was actually riddled with incentives that
could push its worth to more than double that figure… which was when
it all made sense. Here’s the breakdown according to Rotoworld:

addition to the  $5.5 million, he makes $500,000 each for 150, 160 and
170 innings pitched and $750,000 each for 180, 190, 200 and 210
innings. He also gets $100,000 for 120 days on the active 25-man
roster, $200,000 for 130 days, $250,000 each for 140 and 150 days, and
$400,000 each for 160, 170 and 180 days. Had he had a similar contract
in his previous years with the Yankees, Pettitte would have earned the
full $12 million in 2007 and $11.25 million last season.

you take that into account, it doesn’t seem too shabby right? However,
here’s what I find a little shady. I give you the definition of


something that incites or tends to incite to action or greater effort, as a reward for increased productivity.

Two things I don’t like about that semi-sentence right there and the use of this word when it comes to baseball:

1. “greater effort
– This type of deal was the same reason Joe Torre walked from the
organization and got as far away as he could, a.k.a. the other side of
the country, and it was because of the insulting insinuation that he
actually needed more motivation. Despite whatever can be said about the
Yankees and their fans, there’s no arguing that the Yanks play to win every year. If anyone needs incentives to do that then they shouldn’t wear navy pinstripes.

2. “reward for increased productivity”
– The fact that baseball players get paid more money in just one year
these days than many will see in their lifetime is insulting enough,
but giving players cash rewards for doing their job, a.k.a. what they’re supposed to do, has to be a slap in the face to every lower to middle class American out there.

To summarize: This deal is that cookie the kids were dangling in front of that giant ant in Honey I Shrunk The Kids.

honey i shrunk the kids ant.jpg

with all that said, though I’m opposed to tagging the contracts as “deals
with incentives” I actually think the set up is not a bad idea when it
comes to player contracts, not so much when it comes to managers
though, as they aren’t always fully responsible what the team does.
These type of deals protect the organizations from dishing out a
fortune to guys that wind up barely producing and/or sitting on their
*** for an entire season because they get hit with an injury [i.e. Carl
Pavano] and also protects the fans from hating them [i.e. me].

In conclusion, to the world of baseball: There’s no crying incentives in baseball.

These deals, in the future, should be regarded as “You Get Paid For Being Pretty What You Do” deals.

Oh, and glad to have you back Andy 🙂

other news, it was revealed that former Yankee manager, Joe Torre, has
decided to do what more baseball managers and players should do these
days… and that is: step out of the cone of silence and give us
something to talk about.

cone of silence.jpg

the few big deals that have emerged this off-season there has been
little news or controversy to have useless conversations over… which is plain
old boring, but it seems Joe T. has ratified that and spilled the beans
on the many ways the Yanks are a combination of the mafia and high
school girls in his new book.

I believe the two things that came out of the recently publicized excerpts from his book were:

1. A-Rod is a attention seeker / prima donna [hehe, Madonna, lol].

2. Cashman is backstabber.

What’s perhaps the funniest part though is the fact that people have acted like this was some big secret. Don’t act like you didn’t already know this:

Fact: A-Rod craves attention.

Fact: He’s still the greatest player in the game of baseball.

Even his biggest haters can’t deny that.

As for Cashman… yeah, he’s a backstabber. He has to be. He’s a friggin GM.

If he, or the Steinbrenners, weren’t, do you think the Yankees would be the Yankees right now?

think the whole controversy part wasn’t actually what was said, but the
fact that Joe Torre was the one who said it. Joe Torre, despite the
lack of success in the final years of his Yankee managerial career,
gave a lot to the team and fans, and was well known to be a “father
figure” in the clubhouse, so it may have come off as a surprise… but
I say, so what.

Enjoy the drama. [Future sign off? What you think?]

P.S. Completely forgot to mention what Joe Torre said about A-Rod’s obsession with Derek Jeter… you can’t say that one isn’t true either. I mean, who isn’t obsessed with him?

In Retrospect

off, I hope everyone had a good time over the holidays, even though I
didn’t [half of  my 12 day vacation from school was a big bummer].  I may be a little late but Happy New Year and all that good
stuff. Back to business. The recap of recent activity:

1. Tex Dons The Pinstripes… After Asking The Missus First

guy that Red Sox hoped they’d get to draw some attention back to them
and the Yanks got by saying “Name your price… okay, done deal” put
the pinstripes on for the first time Tuesday, and though it goes
without saying, looked pretty damn good. The story on every back page
in New York, however, was all about his wife and how Tex needed to have
her say-so to become a Yankee. I admit I got a little chuckle out of
that, but I gotta say, Mark’s no fool. He doesn’t care that his
manlihood is being joked about for a reason. She wears the pants, but
he still brings home the bacon mountain load of bacon.

tex intro-1.jpg

2. Cleveland Becomes The First Team To Come Dangerously Close To Becoming Clinically Insane

Okay, I
knew some team would dare to sign him, but still, I can’t imagine how Pavano, the guy who is literally the definition of injury prone [look it up, I kid you not], is worth more than a penny… not even a shiny one at that.
Yeah, he came back and managed to finish ’08 without stubbing his toe,
but nonetheless… you know that if there is a God, he
has one hell of a sense of humor when Americans who work hard every day
get laid off, while a guy who sat on his *** for half the time he was
in pinstripes is offered $1.5 million easily… and to top it
off though is that fact that even if the worst should happen to him and
he could no longer pitch, he still could easily earn cash advertising for ACE bandages, or possibly even create a new line of designer crutches… who

3. Pettitte Does What I Thought Was Impossible

He said no… to [lotto guy voice] 10 millll-ion dollars… from the Yankees. You what the Yanks said back? “Okay, but when you change your mind… because you will change
your mind… it won’t be $10 million on the table anymore bud.” Putting
jokes aside though, am I the only one who just hates the business side
of baseball? Pettitte wants to be a Yankee and the Yankees want
Pettitte to be a Yankee. You’d think that’d be the easiet contract the
Yanks sign in the off-season, but noooo…

4. Number Of Teams Interested In Former Bo-Sock: Not Manny

didn’t get a check in his stocking and I’m guessing, with Manny being
Manny, he’s pretty peeved… nahhhh, does anyone really believe he
cares about anything? Still, it’s January, and the big boy still hasn’t
got a new uniform. I’d be seriously embarrassed if I were him right
about now. I mean, Pavano got a contract before him. I mean, that’s
just sad.

Side Notes:

– I can’t say G-G-G-G-G-G-Giambino [the G-Unit pronunciation] anymore, booooo.

Bernie gets hit with an injury after joining a Puerto Rican winter ball
team, putting the brakes on his comeback. Though I don’t neccesarily
want to see him in the outfield for the Yanks ever again [no offense
Bern] I would’ve loved to still see him back in the game.

Nothing But [Hits]tory

Though the games
don’t really have any playoff implications for the Yanks these days,
[one look at the ugly standings will tell you that] this one still
surprisingly managed to be worth watching.


The reason why? History.

Jeter picked up a bunt single, double and home run to tie Lou Gehrig in dramatic fashion on the all time hits list in Yankee Stadium.

Pavano officially became the most injury prone player in all of sports… of all time.

came in for one out, which he got via the strikeout, to notch his 35th save
this season and number 478 of his career to tie him for 2nd on the all time saves

And to top it off, I believe this is the first time this entire season that the Yanks scored over 5, while leaving merely 2 runners on base. [Yes, just 2, as in the number on Jeter’s back.]

Side Notes:

– It’s just hilarious now. Pav, announce your retirement. No team in their right mind would pick you up.

Some very nice plays by Gardner today. He has the speed, impeccable
defense and can get down the bunt. If his bat can start producing those
hits, I can see him as a starting center fielder, but I shouldn’t get
ahead of myself. We all thought that highly of Melk before his downfall.

– Lastly, somewhat another piece of history to mention: A-Rod hits a grand slam and is not the story of the game.

P.S. Kay said Jeter has a flair for the dramatic. He reads this blog 😉

Edit: Apparently, Pavano is “not
too concerned”. However, even if this turns out to be nothing, you
gotta laugh at how many times the word injury is used in the same
sentence as Pavano’s name. Call Guiness. He must hold the record.

Original post here.