Tagged: Swisher

Defining Elite In Satisfying Sweep

I should say defining embarrassment as well, to cover the Mets’ display of talent this series, but that’s too easy.

Mets-Mess.jpg

Manuel, I pity you.

Side Notes:

– Another night Mets escape errors, but the bonehead moves were still in abundance. Reason New York has another team = sheer entertainment.

– Wang finally picks up his first win in over a year and no one cares because Mo’s the story.. tough.

– Randomness.. Wanger needs a sick haircut. Swish could probably come up with something good, but this would be pretty hilarious.

– How ’bout that sarcastic cheer for Castillo every pop-up in his own ballpark? I repeat: The guy is never coming back from that.. Bright side? Blooper/Oddity Of The Year [whatever TYIB Awards wants to call it this year] is his, hands down.

– I shouldn’t put it this way, but.. Robbie, cut the crap. I realize A-Rod’s new found “leave it all up the next guy” tactic [also referred to as taking the walk] has been putting the pressure on ya lately, but Alex wasn’t spared the sympathy, so Cano, figure it out.

– Sorry to put it so bluntly but could someone tell me the worth of Hideki Matsui?

– Closer vs. closer, bases loaded, 3-2 count… and a walk to force in a run. Classic. As a wise man once said.. “It couldn’t have happened to a better guy on the mound.”

Beast Of The Ball Game:

beast 6:28.jpg

500th save and an RBI to boot. Can’t touch The Sandman.

Mo, thank you for being a Yankee.

On Deck: Joba on the mound, following a solid start in Atlanta, to face Brandon Morrow, currently transitioning back to the starter role, for Seattle. Make it 6 straight.

P.S. For your Off Day Boredom Relief, what Godzilla should consider doing:

[Not what he did on the first pitch.. Matsui is already doing a lot of that.]

P.P.S. Must quote the ever classy Mo from the ESPN interview shown after the game because it defined the man..

When asked about chasing Trever Hoffman, Mo’s response:

“I play the game because I love it.. I don’t chase records, period. I don’t play for records. I play for the New York Yankees.”

When asked about PED’s.. 

“I don’t even drink coffee.. If the talent that God has given me is not enough, well I have to quit. When I leave this game, I know, deep in my heart, deep in my mind, that I was clean.. Nobody can point a finger at me.”

Amen.

In Retrospect

Semi rounding up this past week [rather randomly]:

– Baseball is funny. Exhibit A [B, C, D and especially E]:
The New York Mets. At this point I really don’t know if I should
further their embarrassment.. but I’m going to anyway. *Virtual
bowdown* to the art form of losing they’ve developed. First Luis
Castillo’s epic failure, and now 3 errors in an inning by all
infielders but Luis Castillo.. irony at its best.

– I live for interleague play. Because of it, a pitcher
did the honor of knocking the other out of a game, the big man became
an offensive threat and Mariano, the Sandman, Rivera put on a batting
helmet and hit it hard. I’m seriously thinking the Yankee arms could pinch hit in non-interleague games, if necessary.


Mike Gonzalez is a ginormous weirdo. How does he not get the slow play
fine for his windup alone? It’s like a minor rain delay every pitch. [And like we haven’t had enough of those..]

– A-Rod.. glad to have you back. [And I’m not just talking about your bat.. back to women that don’t have biceps bigger than yours is a good sign.]

– It’s pretty clear right now that Joe G. is going to play the hot bat to handle the
outfield situation. That currently has Swish sitting out.. [for last
night at least.] What does the Red Bull Manic do on the bench? Sharpie his bat. Classic Swishness.


Happy belated to the Capt’n. Don’t know if he’s in the lineup tonight,
but if he isn’t.. jeezus, Peña makes a hell of a backup. If he is, the
Mets are the perfect opponent to kill the funk.. considering he hasn’t driven
in a run in two weeks, since last facing the blue & orange. DJ’s
cologne bottle is just laughing at him. Yeah, double plays aren’t fun to
ground into, but imagine how fun they are to watch. [Funny how the move to leadoff was supposed to solve that problem huh?] [That didn’t quite
turn out to be the Happy Birthday I had in mind..]

– Brett The Jet = Beast. Yeah, the kid has legs.. but 5-6, with a homer at Citi? Beware the beast.

Lastly,

Yours truly is officially a high school graduate. [I’m as surprised as you are.]
Now which Yankee wants to sign my yearbook?

P.S. R.I.P to the man that gave the world P.Y.T.

P.P.S. Will live-blog it tomorrow, for the last game in this interleague road trip. Hope all stop by for the ESPN bashing at least.

Taking Care Of Business

Here’s a radical concept for ya.. stress-free baseball..

cano slide.jpg

I don’t know how the Yanks managed to follow a series that ended exactly the way it shouldn’t
have with a game that went exactly the way it should [despite no A-Rod,
no DH, a limping Capt’n and youth, their weakness, on the mound for the Marlins],
but thank you.

Side Notes:

– First on the agenda.. Alex.
Right about now, I would question/criticize Girardi’s overdue move to
finally bench A-Rod like everyone and their mother understandably was doing tonight, but I took a second to digest it.. and I’ve come to
the conclusion that Joe G. really has zero say in when Alex Rodriguez
does or does not play. Given the fact that Alex’s ex-wife stayed as
long as she did with him, despite his multiple acts of infidelity made public, and
the fact that A-Rod still scored a hefty contract with the Yanks,
despite all threats given by the organization that he would, under no
circumstances, be dealt with after the opt-out ordeal.. it’s pretty
obvious Alex is quite a persuasive dude. Girardi may be the manager,
but when A-Rod says he’s playing, he’s playing.. and apparently, when he says he isn’t, he isn’t. As for A-Rod’s timing.. pretty clear he’s attempting to limit his chances to choke in front of his family.

– Sean West, sorry you had to be the kid the Yanks realize they need to tee off against, but tough luck.


Andy with a great outing and a double and ribbie to boot. Got my dose
of hilarity watching him round the bases.. and so did the bench:

swish celebrate.jpg

I seriously love interleague play.

– Probably obvious, but LandShark Stadium is weird and massive, and sounds like someone should sell naming rights.

– Swish needs to double up his intake of Red Bull.. and fast.


Been a while since I could look forward to the 8th inning and it’s
infinitely great to have a guy who can do his job back in the bullpen,
but who’s the bright guy giving Brun physical appearance advice? Going
baldy and now the porn star ‘stache? Really? Look, Big G barely pulled it off last year. Though the “Support The ‘Stache” campaign and ‘Stache Day
at the stadium was pretty funny.. it’s been done man. Tattooing Macho
Man on your forehead would probably give you more cool points.. Just a thought.


In other news, Papelbon attempted to make things clear today regarding
one of his many trivial attempts to make headlines, this time
surrounding his willingness to play in pinstripes when his contract
expires, by stating “I don’t want to go (expletive) play for the
Yankees”.. Haha, like we’d ever let him.

On Deck: A.J. on the mound tomorrow to face Josh Johnson, who’s sporting a stellar 2.76 ERA and 6-1 record to match. Pitching duel?

Icing The Cake Before Heading To Beantown And Eating It

And this was how to enjoy it:

http://www.facebook.com/v/1157045373252

[Excuse the misguided Mets fan yelling let’s go Rays.. He’s mentally ill.]
[And yeah.. we celebrated Damon’s shot with Freddy! =)]

Who’s heading into [and leaving] Boston with sole possession of first place?

Side Notes:


First off, was there a 5-Hour Energy promotion before the game I didn’t
know about? [Because there should be..] Because the crowd was pretty
pumped last night. The wave went through the entire stadium literally 4 or 5 times straight [despite how corny it is].. Your Quick Bit of Hilarity: When standing up and sitting down and the greatest thing in the world becomes synonymous.

– For the record.. Swish’s bomb? Called it [approximately
10 seconds before the pitch was thrown to be precise]
.. I must be 
somewhere near 7 out of 10 this season now. Finally getting that career
prediction average over the Mendoza Line..

– How about that jet stream?

– Teixeira = beast beast beast beast beast.

– And let the Joba Hughes bullpen/starter debate begin..

Crowd Quotes:

– With the entrance of Mo: “Why everybody clapping?” [I swear, there’s always that one person..]

– Upon noticing a friend was cheering for anything..
  Me: “Who are you even rooting for?”
  Friend: “I don’t even know.. I’m going for the Lakers.”

– Same Friend: “What quarter is this?”

– Same Friend: “How many points they have? Three right? Three points baby!!”

– “Haha.. B.J... Who would name their child B.J. [Upton]?”

– With crowd yelling “Hugheees”..
  Friend: “Why are they booing?”
  Other Friend: “So that way they can like strike him out.”

– Me:  “SoOoOo, enjoyed the game?”
   Red Sox Friend: “Watch.. tomorrow man..”

On Deck: Another Boskees series.. beginning with Burnett and Beckett.. Hmm.. loving this match-up.

P.S. Just re-watched Swish’s innerview that aired on the pregame a couple of days ago.. Swish’s response to what he’d do during a rain delay: “I love naps” Me too, my friend.. me too.

Walk-Off Wonder Boy Works Magic Tad Sooner This Time

Seriously, what does Leche eat for breakfast?

melk game winner.jpg

I know this level of clutch doesn’t come in a Wheaties box.

Side Notes:


Felt cheated going to a game with Jeter sitting it out on the bench,
but the “W” when it was all said and done just about changed my mind.


I swear, only in Yankee Stadium would two guys randomly show up in real
St. Louis Cardinals jerseys to a game between the Yanks & Rangers.

– Wang.. thought you were back for a good two innings.


I’ve made a change to my dream job. I now want to be the guy on the
four-wheeler type vehicle that has the dirt sweeper attached.. Couldn’t
tell if he was purposely driving circles in the infield or just had a
few too many beers along with some of the fans, but that dude looked like he
was having a ball.

– The little bromance revealing itself with Mark & Alex strangely has puts a smile to my face. Talk about a tag team.

– Swish is the funniest.


Today, Johnny Damon = beast. The guy really doesn’t even need both
hands.. I honestly feel the ball is just bruised every time he smacks
one.

On Deck: Tampa heading into town for a four game set and the first matchup just so happens to showcase the big bear double half a squiggly versus the David Price. The kid got his first major league win last week.. Shall we give him his first loss?

P.S. Check this kid out. Seriously? I think someone is trying to pull off another Tejada.

P.P.S.
Friend of mine picked up a couple souvenirs with a towel used by Hughes
[and a practice ball] tossed by a random guy still in the ‘pen after
the game. Don’t know why Hughes needed it on the bench, unavailable
today, but apparently he was sweating for Wang. A bit of advice: Axe
body spray Hughes.

Crowd Quote(s):

– [Regarding the above].. After getting a good whiff following lifting the towel to his face [reminiscent of something NSFW].. other friend uttered these words: “It smells like man.”

Off Day Boredom Relief

Recent Hilarious Happenings:

-The latest 6 year old temper tantrum in baseball thanks to Carlos Zambrano:

zambrano tantrum.jpg

When will they ever listen to Jimmy Dugan?

P.S. Despite the modern twist, with a beverage machine instead of water cooler, Paul O’Neill still takes the cake when it comes to smashing.

– My realization of why Warner Madrigal makes me giggle inside:

madrigal fozzie.jpg

Tell me you see the resemblance.


The return of Toronto’s incompetence. The Blue Jay team has finally
dropped out of first and have begun their decline, which was clearly
highlighted by a stellar effort yesterday. Halladay going 7, leaving with a 5 run lead and still a loss? That is more like it.

– Cash’s trip to the mound last
night that lasted all of two seconds, in which no words were exchanged.
Picking up the rosin bag, dropping it and jogging back? Classiiic. The look on A.J.’s face? Priceless.

Sweet Shizz:

– The new bleacher tee graphic by Bald Vinny made because “”Teix Message” is F’n Stupid”:

the teixecutioner 1.jpg

.. which no doubt would’ve gone well with this screencap of “The Teixecutioner” at work:

teix monster.jpg

For anyone wondering.. ^that^ is the first step to crushing a baseball.

– CC, Swish and some of the other guys heading to the NBA playoff game in Cleveland tonight, according to Bryan Hoch. Cavs must win with the boys in the building.

Side Notes:


Seriously.. what would it take for Veras to disappear? With the way the
Yanks work, the only answer I can muster is.. improvement. Veras
apparently learned a valuable lesson from Nuke LaFarnsworth.. continue
to be an epic failure and you’ll keep getting the ball. Start getting
guys out and they’ll up and ship you to Detroit.


Unfortunate to see Melk out of the lineup for at least the next few
days, but Brett The Jet never ceases to amaze. The legs on Speedy
Gardzalez makes baserunning seem like a sport all its own.


Saltalamacchia’s rainbow-esque display of his name on his back is
chuckle-worthy enough.. but Flash’s struggle with pronouncing it gave
me another good laugh.

– According to Pete Abe, Posada will be activated tomorrow..

– An update: Tex = beast.


Yanks were tied for first before the Sox unfortunately won their game
today.. but I’m thinking Yanks claim sole possession real soon.

On Deck:
Pettitte facing Cliff Lee tomorrow in a game I won’t see because it’s
Prom night, so I hope Andy will mow ’em down while I’m watching people do idiotic things.

In The Hole: I’m hoping continued dominance from double half a squiggly.

Off The Bench: Hughes taking on he who must not be named.. Would love to see some retribution this time.. but more importantly.. Must see him stub his toe or someone drive a ball at him..  No way Cleveland gets to have him for a full season either..

P.S. I was randomly watching women’s college softball on ESPN today [no idea why] but upon stating that one of the female players was a “loyal Seattle Mariners fan”, one of the analysts actually said “you’d kind of have to be loyal to be a fan of Seattle”.. burrrnnnn.

Bringing The [Metaphorical] Thunder

Though
coming off 6 consecutive games falling into the win column, lucky
number 7 would not come without your highness bringing the good fortune
[..just sayin’], so I made an appearance.. Check the picz I
took from the ballpark:

101_2217_1.jpg101_2231_1.JPG101_2221_1.jpg101_2237_1.jpg

101_2244_1.jpg101_2257_1.JPG101_2258.JPG101_2263_1.JPG101_2274_1.JPG101_2288_1.JPG101_2290_1.JPG101_2295_1.JPG

Side Notes:

– ‘Bout damn time I go to a game this season where the weather ain’t feces.

– Brun must
get the hookup from Alex a.s.a.p. and tan that scalp.. going baldy
wasn’t smart to begin with but physics 101: skin’s pigment will not
darken where hair was once covering it.. just sayin’ [that probably had
nothing to do with physics..]


Andy Pettitte was my very first autograph.. the guy is the greatest..
and has one set of pex on him. Also got my very first baseball from
Edwar.. though it was actually caught by my friend next to me 2 seconds
before it would’ve hit me in the face because I wasn’t paying attention
for a split second.. For anyone who follows me on Twitter [which you should], you’ll know I’ve been a concussion waiting to happen this week.

– Phil Coke is a funny dude.

– I doubt anyone is keeping score, but put another one on the board for me, as I utterly called the Texual healing homer.


Mariano’s entrance will forever stir goosebumps, but CC’s came
dangerously close to touching it today. I don’t know the song he walked
to the mound to, but the beat and the swag from C-Sab got me pumped.

– A-Rod = beast.

Crowd Quote(s):

– [Two seconds before the start of God Bless America] “Hey take your hat off you damn terrorist!”

On Deck:


Hughes making another start [possibly his last if Wang is coming back]
facing Jeremy Guthrie. Would love it if that whole 8 run thing that
happened last time he faced the Orioles didn’t happen again. Try and make it 8 wins instead eh?

In The Hole:

– Two words: Joba. Huff.

P.S. Yeah, I’m cool with security like that..

P.P.S. He’s still the coolest, but Swish should definitely whip out  the unmetaphorical bad boy, Thunderbolt. Screw the fine. Hit it into outerspace.. or.. to anywhere besides a fielder’s glove [if you didn’t already know that the other uniforms aren’t what you aim for].. Just sayin’..